Image: property of Myers-Davis
The above statement isn’t to say if you look for a lost item, you will usually find it. It’s a general observation of outcomes from people-related encounters. To put it in simpler terms:
- If you look for the good in people, you usually find it.
- If you look for the bad in people, you usually find it, too.
Meeting people can be awkward, stressful, and uncomfortable. Having met people, dealing with them can be difficult, demanding, and equally stressful. Like fingerprints and grains of sand, no two people are exactly the same. We might not be able to predict the result of our encounter with people, but we can help the outcome with a little self-preparation.
Acknowledge the gap between intention and interpretation: Alan Greenspan famously stated, ‘I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.’
Intrapersonal communication is the understanding one has of what he/she is communicating. Ex: ‘I understand exactly what I’m saying.’
Interpersonal communication is the understanding another has of what is being communicated. Ex: ‘I understand exactly what you’re saying.’
Here’s a humorous (I hope) illustration of the intention-interpretation gap:
Woman to attorney: I want a divorce! Attorney: Do you have grounds? Woman: Yes, we have 3 acres. Attorney: No, I mean, do you have a grudge? Woman: No, we have a carport. Attorney: Is your husband contentious? Woman: No, we’re both Methodists. Attorney: Does he beat you up? Woman: No, I’m up before him every morning. Attorney: Madam, why do you want a divorce? Woman: Because we can’t even have a decent conversation!
If you look for good in someone, don’t let communication issues convince you that what you found was bad. To paraphrase 2 Peter 1, ‘Add to your patience more patience.’ Clear communication is not always easy, so invest a little time and effort; the good is worth it.
A butterfly wasn’t always beautiful: A man who brought 100’s of people to Christ was once on death row. Another man who brought 100’s to Christ was once a major drug lord. If you look for the bad in them, there is plenty to find; but the bad was overcome by good. Only God can create a clean heart in people, but we can help to introduce them to Him by showing them there’s a better way to live.
An aide rebuked Pres. Lincoln for seeking advice from a political adversary. The aide said, ‘You need to get rid of your enemies and seek advice from your friends.’ Lincoln replied, ‘I was trying to do both.’
We usually find what we look for, so be on the lookout for the good in people and, always, let them see the good in us. And remember, you are greatly loved!
–Jackie Chesnutt, Chaplain and Emotional Support Coach for Myers-Davis (7/20/2026)
